Fashionista Diary 1

The life of a fashion designer has to be one of the most over glamorized career choices ever, and very few people know how much hard work it truly is. Most people want to be designers to become famous, and that thinking will leave you in a sad, sad place. This path that we have chosen is full of long days, even longer nights, tears, and swollen, pricked fingers from hand-sewing (ouchies). For the last four months, I've experienced all of these things and then some. I don't know how many times I've had to sew and sew and re-sew the same garment and lose damn near a pint of blood from my fingertips from trying to had-sew on zippers. 

There are moments when I have the perfect ideas for my line, and then there are times when I just sit there and stare at my sketch pad forever. During class while everyone is quietly working on their pieces I'll randomly blurt out, "I have no idea what the hell I'm doing". There are times when I doubt everything I do; good ideas are always trash to me because I never think its good enough. In my mind its crap. Last semester every other day I swore I was going to drop out and go back to nursing. And you're probably thinking, Then why the hell are you doing it? 

Simple. Because I love it. As much sleep I've lost because of deadlines that have had to be made, and how unfairly I've been treated by faulty member, I wouldn't give this up for anything. Its my passion. I've learned so much in the short time I've been doing this and I've come so far. I even see myself progressing and its the best feeling in the world. Just thinking about it brings me to tears because I've finally found my niche. I was that fat kid in high school who wanted to do everything but did nothing because I was worried about what other people thought of me. I've always done what other people think I should do instead of whats best for me. But whats even better about all this is that when I made the decision to take that leap of faith and go after this, I found so much peace because I trusted God. Life is so much better when you let God do His job, He's way better at it than you are.

Now I'm free-handing croquis (sketches of fashion models), making my own patterns for shirts, pants, dresses, and low-rise jeans. Man you can't tell me nothing. I still have those moments of doubt and frustration as all artists do (ha! i'm actually an artist go figure lol). But they're pretty short-lived. When I think about it though, if all this was easy it wouldn't be worth it at all, that's why these moments of accomplishment feel so good. Because it definitely is.